Wednesday, February 16, 2005


Serenity points to the karate performers. Posted by Hello

Daddy puts a barette in his girl's hair. Posted by Hello

Serenity still can use chopsticks. What a smart girl! Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

God's Will

Isaiah 43:5-7 Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your descendants from the East and gather you from the West; I will say to the north 'Give them up!' And to the south 'Do not keep them back!' Bring my sons from afar, and my daughters from the ends of the Earth-Everyone whom I have called by my Name, whom I have created for my Glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him.

I have 4 Children. Matthew is the oldest. He was born Nov 89 in Butler Pa. I remember many things about that day, Bob Dylan was on the radio on the way to the hospital, and Geraldo Rivera was on the TV in the admission waiting room. I remember this because I don't like either of them. It was very late at night when we got to the hospital and he was born the next morning and greeted by lots of family and friends
Dean and Donovan came next. They are twins, identical boys. They were born in Oct 91, also in Butler Pa. I remember it was unseasonably warm. We went to the hospital early in the morning and they were born just before noon. Again lots of family and friends were there to welcome them.
Serenity is my daughter. She is also the youngest by 12 years. She was born July 03 somewhere in GZAR, China. But she was born in our hearts long before that. I am not sure who was there when she was born or how she was received but I do know one person that was there....God. He was with her from the beginning saying, my child I made you and I love you. I have a plan for you, it may not be easy but it is right.
A few months later in Sept 03 we were sending all our paperwork, called a dossier off to China asking the Chinese government for one of their precious children. It arrived in Beijing, China's capital city, at the CCAA, the government division for adoption and was promptly placed in a stack with all the other foreigners asking to adopt a Chinese child. I can't put my finger on when the desire began to grow within me to adopt a daughter from China but I know it was put there by God. My husband agreed to adopt in summer 2002 and we began our 'paperchase' in Sept 02. Long before Serenity began to grow in her birth mother's womb, God already had a plan for our lives.
The next month after we sent our dossier to China, a family was faced with a very tough decision.
The Chinese gov't allows only one child per family, in special cases if the first child is a girl they may be allowed to have two. China has the largest population in the world. I read one statistic that says 1 in 4 people on the planet is Chinese. The gov't felt they had to curb the growth of the population so the made the rule "One child maybe two".
China also has a very strong cultural preference for sons. There is no social security system in place to care for people as they age. Social security is a son to care for you. Sons stay with the family, carry on the name, work the family farm or business. Daughters become part of the husband's family, carrying for them. In poor families this is a big deal.
Back to Oct 03, a family, mother and father, struggle with this policy. Fines are tough for a family breaking the one child law, up to one year worth of income, loss of med privileges, jobs can be lost. Not just parents are punished but extended family as well. So here they have a beautiful, perfect baby girl, maybe she is a second daughter, maybe a first born to very a very poor family. I don't know, but her Maker does and His plan is still in place. These birth parents must have loved her very much because they took a big risk to leave her in place she would be found. Again punishment is harsh for abandoning a baby. A huge fine, prison time, even forced sterilization if parents are caught. So they had to have tremendous love in their hearts to leave her in so public a place. Unfortunately their story is not uncommon; it is faced by thousands of parents a year. It would be easy for us Westerners to judge them harshly for what they did, but until we walk a mile in their shoes.... But even as Serenity was left alone, waiting to be found she wasn't really alone. The Maker of Heaven and Earth was there with her, His plan still in place. She was eventually found and taken to an orphanage to wait there for His plan to unfold.
She wasn't the only one waiting. Here in the good ole USA, we were waiting and waiting for what seemed like a very long time. It was 8 months actually, 7 months since Serenity arrived at Yongning SWI, until we received the call telling us we had a daughter, Ning Fu Zhu. Ning is her last name, shared by all the children at Yongning and Fu means Good Fortune. We later would find out that the meaning of her full name is Peaceful Blessing. Well of course we wanted to jump on the first plane we could, but like the rest of the story we had to WAIT.
On July 1st, 2004 at 6:30pm we boarded a plane in PGH and on July 3rd at 6:30 am we landed in Hong Kong. All in all it took 24 hours to get to China +12hr time difference. We were greeted by 'Uncle Matthew' a Hong Kong national that would serve as our guide for the next day and a half. We boarded a bus and headed to the Shangri La hotel. It was beautiful beyond belief. Opulent is the word that comes to mind when I remember it. We signed up for a whirlwind tour of Hong Kong that afternoon. We started with a yummy Dim Sum lunch, then off to see the sights. We saw Victoria's Peak, Aberdeen Fishing Village, I rode a sampan and we toured a pearl jewelry factory before we returned to our hotel at around 6 pm. Uncle Matthew told us not to fall asleep yet, try to get on China time, stay up until around 10 then go to bed. So what did we do? We fell asleep by 7. But we slept all night and were revived and refreshed by morning.
I left out some important people on this journey. We met up with our travel group in San Francisco. 5 other families to go thru this with us. One family like us already had 3 older sons, 1 family had one 6 year old bio-son, 1 family was on their second adoption trip to China and 2 were becoming parents for the first time. When we met on July1 we were strangers going to a strange land, but by the time we said good bye we were aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews all with a profound love of Our China
So July 4th we board a plane for Nanning, the city where we would receive Serenity. When we landed in Nanning I was struck by what a land of contrast China is. On one side of the landing strip water buffalo were grazing peacefully, completely uncaring that there were the foreigners coming to bring home daughters, while on the other side of the runway there were 5 Russian built MIGs . Following us into Nanning was a huge thunderstorm; this would later become a recurring theme to our time in China.
We were met by Michael in Nanning; he would be our guide for the next 6 days, 24 hours a day. He lived with us in the hotel. The Chinese choose their own western names, how fitting he would choose the name of an angel, because he became our guardian angel while we were there. I can't say enough good about him. We were taken to our hotel and told to rest because tomorrow was our big day. Gotcha Day
The next day at 3pm we left our hotel, the Majestic, to travel by bus to the Lottery Hotel to receive our babies. That name-Lottery Hotel- has always struck me as a funny name for a place to receive our babies. As if it was all by chance, but it wasn't by chance. This is just another example of God working out his plan for all our lives. Do you think the would change the name to 'God's Plan Hotel'? Me neither.
Upstairs at the Lottery Hotel 6 babies were waiting for us. To say we were nervous was an understatement, of the 6 families, 3 were waiting to become parents for the first time. I still get goose bumps thinking about that moment. So after a speech by a local official the time has come. In walked 6 nannies carrying 6 beautiful daughters of China. We were the 5th family called. Serenity was handed to me with a worried look on her face, a look she kept for quite a while. Then it was back to the bus and back to the Majestic Hotel to get to know each other. Now I would like to tell you everything was beautiful. I would like to tell you Serenity was happy to be with her family. I would like to tell you she cooed and smiled from then on. I would like to tell you that but I would be lying. The first 3 days were, shall we say, stressful. Suddenly she found herself with people that looked funny, talked funny, and even smelled funny, and she did not like it one bit. She cried because she didn't want me to hold her, she cried because she didn't want put down. So she and I did the up down dance those first few hours. Dad and Dean made a tactical move that would later be called "The Coca-Cola Maneuver” that is they decided to go for a walk and find a store that sold Coca-Cola. I'm not going to say those first few days were easy, but can I say they were worthwhile. By the fourth day she had decided I was a pretty good nanny and she would keep me. But the third day was really hard on her, she was sick with bronchitis and grieving mightily, so we missed the side trip to a Buddhist Temple the fourth day because I was afraid of being out in the mighty heat with a sick and upset baby. One of the families in our group that went, the dad is a Baptist youth minister in Mississippi told me this story. He did the tour for curiosity sake but when time came for the monks to perform a Buddhist blessing on the girls they hung back. He said, "Homestudy $600, Trip to China $2000, singing 'Jesus Loves Me' to your newly adopted Chinese daughter in a Buddhist temple, priceless!"
I think I should mention the food in Nanning. We ate some meals in the hotel ethnic restaurants, and they were very good. But we ate many dinners from a local restaurant. You may have heard of it, McDonalds. Oh yes it was very exotic and they delivered.
When we left Nanning we had gone from 6 families of strangers to one large extended family. Holding our babies we bid a tearful goodbye to Michael, our guardian and friend for only 6 days, but he was/is so important to us that we still keep in touch.
On to Guangzhou for the American part of the paperwork. Our guide there was a sprite of a girl called Maggie. We didn't get as close to her as we did our Michael, but she guided us thru our paperwork with awe-inspiring efficiency.
Guangzhou used to be called Canton. It was the only port that foreign trade was allowed. The area we stayed in, Shamain Island was where the English, Dutch and French had their embassies. Now, it is the only city in China that processes American adoption. The western influence can be seen in the buildings and the layout of the island. We stayed at the White Swan hotel, called the White Stork because of all the American adoptive families that stay there since it is within walking distance to our consulate. Guangzhou was a quick stop because in 3 days we completed all the American requirements of physicals and visa applications, as well as shopping for treasures to share with Serenity when she gets older.
Like the other cities we visited the rains followed us. And one time it showed us just how forceful nature can be. We decided on our last full day in China to visit the Guangzhou Zoo. I really wanted to see the pandas. I mean, hey, I came all the way to China and I was missing the Great Wall, I at least wanted to see the pandas! So off we went 3 moms, 2 dads, 4 Chinese little girls and 2 big brothers in 3 taxis to visit some very famous Chinese celebrities, 2 great pandas. Now the taxi ride in and of itself was an experience. I finally just shut my eyes and recited the 23rd Psalm to myself. We arrived at the zoo and paid our admission. Of course the pandas are in the back of the zoo. We found our way to the panda area thanks to the pictures on the signs and there they were 2 of the rarest animals on the planet. But something was wrong. After looking around I realized WE were the attractions because all the locals were looking at these 3 Caucasian families with these Chinese kids. And then the rains came. At first we thought we could ride it out under a tree, after all I had brought 2 umbrellas in my bag. And then the rains came harder, and harder and HARDER. This time the rain brought along some strong wind and some serious thunder and lightening. All of the sudden metal handled umbrellas did not seem like such a good idea. So we dashed for an over hang of a building to wait it out. I don't know how long we were there but it seemed like an eternity. Wind blew some mulch stuff around and off the top of the building we were standing beside. There was mud and decomposing leaves everywhere. Once it let up our funny, soggy, little party headed back to the front of the zoo to go back to the White Swan. Along the way we saw metal picnic tables in the lake and several big palm trees uprooted. I actually saw a drown rat just outside the zoo exit, somehow that struck me as poetic. It was definitely time to go home!
After our three days in Guangzhou, whoosh we were back on a plane to Hong Kong, then to San Francisco where Serenity became a US citizen as soon as we touched the ground.
So, Serenity, my youngest child, my daughter, was born in China. I don't know why God chose to have my daughter born in China instead of in Butler, Pa like her brothers, but who am I to question the Almighty? God put China in our lives for a reason. Now we have 2 more holidays on our calendar, Chinese New Year and Autumn Moon Festival. And I hope more global thinking in our minds. I know Serenity was meant to be our child, just as if she had been born to us, God's plan is infallible. And it is marvelous to see it worked out.